The countdown is on!!

The countdown is on until the day I will cross the stage, turn the tassel, and become a college graduate. I can't believe I am only a couple weeks away from that day. It feels so close, but yet so far. I can't believe how far I've come. Graduation seemed like it would never come this time several years ago. I was nowhere near seeing the light, but it's so close that I can touch it. It's kind of freaky.

All that's left is to get into law school. I am waiting to hear back from the places I have applied to so far before I make a final decision. I just hope I get in somewhere that I really want to be. I know that everything happens for a reason, and I'll end up where I'm supposed to but the suspence is killing me. I don't usually mind surprizes but this one is unbearable and is slowly taking my breath away because I won't have anything defenative for another month or so. Most of my fellow graduates will know what they will be doing in the coming months, but I, however, will not fall into that group. I probably won't know where I'm going until late May/early June or July. It is killing me. But I will wait becaue curiosity nor impatience won't kill this cat.

To the person I thought I knew

We have known each other for years. We know each other's secrets and everything there is to know about each other. Or at least, I thought we did. Apparently, I had it wrong. We really don't know each other anymore, but this is not my choice. Every time I've tried to see you, talk to you, or hang out with you, you don't respond. Just tell me why. I need some answers so I can move on. I don't want to let you go because I cherish our friendship and everything we've been thru together, but I just can't do this anymore. I was always there for you whenever you needed me, but you were never there for me; at least not anymore.

You keep using the same excuse but I have other friends that are in your shoes and they still have time for their friends. Because of this, and the fact that you spend time and call other people, I'm guessing that I'm the person you just don't want to see anymore. This is fine. I just can't be strung along w/o a word. Tell me you don't want to be friends or don't care about me anymore and I'll move on. For some reason, however, I feel like you'll keep me around until after the baby is born so you can get a gift out of not only me but my family. If you've noticed, I'm willing to let you go 25 days before I graduate, so I'm not in this for the gift. That's fake to me and not a real friendship. I thought we had a real friendship. Obviously not.

I will probably always care for you and I'm sure you'll always have a place in my heart b/c we've experienced a lot together, but I cannot do this any more. My emotions and sanity can't handle it or how you've been treating me. I may always love you, but I can't do this now. Maybe someday when you don't think you're life is too good for me or you're "too busy." This is my goodbye.

If you decide to change your mind or your actions, I will probably still be around. If I don't hear from you before May 1st, I'm considering this friendship over. I don't care how you contact me: phone, text, email, whatever. But if I don't hear anything, I'm assuming you've already written me off and I'm too late to catch the train. Well, I'm boarding it now and I will move on and find someone who will be the friend to me that I've been to you.

I wish you and your family the best. Even if you and I are no longer a part of each other's lives.